The Slowboat to Phongsali

We left Luang Namtha on the 6th and headed out on the bus to Oudamxai. We got to the station a bit early and got some pretty good seats. Right before the bus left, though, a bunch of other travellers who’d been in town showed up and all grabbed the last seats on the bus. Remember the Frenchie that I’d tried to convince I was French? I’ll give you three guesses as to where she sat… Right next to me. Needless to say, we didn’t chat too much on that trip.

The ride to Oudamxai was only a few hours and then we had to immediately transfer to another bus to Muang Khua which was further east and towards Vietnam. We only ended up having about 20 minutes between buses which kinda sucked because it meant we didn’t have time to get any lunch and seeing as how we hadn’t had much breakfast to speak of we were all a bit grumpy and irritable by the time we finally arrived in the town of Muang Khua five hours later. The first thing we did in Muang Khua was get some noodle soup at a little roadside stand and it turned out to be some of the best we had in all of Laos. We also hadn’t really eaten all day which may have helped in our general appreciation of the meal.

After eating, we found a guesthouse (one of the two in town) and set up shop. The guesthouse was pretty rustic and Patrick and my room came equipped with a squat toilet and a hot water shower that I couldn’t figure how to utilize properly which sucked because it was quite cold. (Turns out there’s a switch outside the bathroom that turns on the water heater. It also turns out that Patrick had been trying to get the other two into bets on whether or not I’d be able to figure that out.) There was a balcony overlooking the Nam Ou river which made for some beautiful sights. At one point Henry said something like, “Man, it’s hard to believe that just across that river is Vietnam….” Vietnam was still a good several hour trip away. There wasn’t a bridge across the river but there was a “ferry” which was essentially a floating barge with what looked like a tugboat downstream from it but pointing upstream. The barge would take on a few cars or maybe a semi and then the tugboat would start its engine, spew out tons of black smoke, and push against the current and take the barge across the river. It seemed terribly inefficient to me but then again, what do I know about that kind of stuff.

We played a lot of cards here during that evening and Henry and I went on quite a winning streak, sweeping hands and winning something like four or five games in a row. Patrick got really pissed off at us and even implied/accused Henry and I of cheating. He was really out of line and luckily we hadn’t been drinking any beers or tempers likely would have flared. As a result we all silently agreed to not play cards for a few days and just let matter drop.

We ate dinner at the guesthouse and then tried to walk around town. Unfortunately, the town essentially closed up after sunset so we were stuck hanging at the guesthouse with a number of other travelers who were rolling through. It seems that a lot of them had had our idea to go up to Phongsali by boat at one point but had heard from too many people that it was really cold up there. Well, we were quite cold almost everywhere in Laos so we figured why try to run from it. Then somebody told us that it’d been getting down to around freezing at nights and we were like “bring it on!” We then decided at this point to go find some lao-lao to keep us warm on the boat ride the next day. Well, we found some and we had a little taste when we got back to the guesthouse and it was terrible. I’ll be the first to admit that lao-lao is generally an acquired taste, but this stuff was terrible. I’m not sure if it was just poorly distilled or mixed with water or what, but it was not good. We gave some to all of the other travelers at the guesthouse and most people thought we were being really nice and outgoing. And then they tried it. Well, we also ran into this Lithuanian guy we’d talked with at the night market in Luang Namtha a few nights before. I’ve forgotten his name but he was a very cool guy and it was quite funny chatting with him again.

The next day we got up and found that the slow boat to Hat Sa hadn’t left yet. Well, we reserved four spots and then ate a little breakfast, paid, and wandered on down to the ferry pier. We hopped on the boat and then tried to get comfortable for the ride up north. Like most trips in northern Laos, the scenery was quite stunning (I feel like I’m getting kind of repetitive saying that) and it was really special seeing it from a unique and different perspective on the river. After about an hour and a half, though, the boat trip got kind of old and we were stuck on a cramped, covered, glorified canoe for another four and a half hours. Well, at least the views were gorgeous and we got the need to travel by boat out of our systems.

We arrived in Hat Sa in the afternoon and had a little soup before deciding to head to Phongsali and skip over this little town. Unfortunately, the driver of the covered pickup was trying to charge us around 4 times the normal price, even when I pointed to the board next to his truck that showed the price. As there weren’t any other trucks around we had to pay and it really ticked me off when I realized he was giving the few Lao people on board their change for the correct price when they got off. One of the few times we got significantly screwed in Laos. This was, however, one of the most stunningly beautiful drives I’ve ever had in my life. We were driving along mountain tops and above the cloud line in many places. Laos really is a beautiful, beautiful place. To top it off, this was the first dirt road we’d been on since leaving Cameroon. I got a little nostalgic.

To driver dropped us off outside of Phongsali, the capital of the farthest north region of Laos, and we had to walk about a kilometer into town. When the town came in to view from around a corner it was amazing, like something out of a book. The town is built on a mountain and when we arrived the cloud line was just below the town making it look like it was surrounded by a sea of white mist. We found a hotel that didn’t have much going for it and found some very good food that night at a restaurant a little ways away. The language barrier was very high in this town so we had a very hard time ordering food and accidentally ordered four of the same dishes. Oh well, it was delicious anyway.

The next day I woke up before everyone else and walked around the streets for a while. It was very beautiful and an adorable little kid tried to speak English with me from one window: “Hello!... How are you?... What is your name?...Pleased to meet you!... Thank you!” One of the highlights of the trip, actually was that adorable, friendly little boy. For most of the day we just relaxed and walked all around town, taking in the stunning views. We had a couple beers at one bar overlooking a big, long valley surrounded by mountains. We’re also pretty sure they were trying to kill a pig next door. One woman kept screaming what sounded like “Sh*t! Sh*t!” though I think it was probably somebody’s name that sounded similar. As far as I know, a dirty word like that doesn’t exist in the Lao language.

We had some good food for a late lunch and started talking to a couple Americans at a table next to us—the only other people in the restaurant and possibly the only other foreigners in town. They turned out to be on their honeymoon and the woman was an RPCV but from which country I forget. Somewhere in Africa, I want to say. They were pretty outgoing and when we left we joked with each other that only an RPCV would go on a honeymoon to Laos.

That night we had some more dinner at the place from the previous night though the staff was incredibly rude to us. Not too sure why but they seemed not only annoyed at our presence but that they would have been much better without us there. They rarely looked at us and when they did there was a hint of venom when we asked for anything. More utensils came with a loud clang on the table and trying to get more tea was like pulling teeth. We weren’t sure if we’d done something to accidently offend them or what exactly had happened because this was clearly not polite behavior there or anywhere. The food was still pretty good, though.

The next day we got up pretty early for the long, grueling bus ride back down south to Oudamxai. The ride took about 9 hours and it was pretty terrible. We seemed to stop an exorbitant number of times and the road was only paved for about the first 20 kilometers and then the last 40 kilometers. That left well over 100km of dusty, bumpy road to travel. The only good part about it was that the scenery was again pretty stunning. (Sorry I’m getting so repetitive describing the scenery but it’d be pointless to actually try to describe it. I’m not able to do it justice.)